Contemplative...

Last night I was talking to my friend about growing up and change and it really got me thinking about how I've grown and changed this past year. I feel like I am a different person than I was last summer after High School, or at least a better version of the person I was before.

BYU changed me. Usually I don't like change, but I wouldn't trade the experiences or people or realizations about myself that changed me for anything in the world. These are just some of the things I learned and the ways I feel i've changed:

* I developed a greater realization of who I am in relation to the Plan of Salvation and my testimony was strengthened on countless occasions. I can't even begin to explain everything wonderful and spiritual that occured. First of all, there is a different feel on campus. It's peaceful, beautiful, the spirit is there. You never encounter people swearing or smoking or dressed immodestly, it's great. Along with the general feel of BYU, there are always devotionals and firesides given by general authorities and other inspiring people to feed your spiritual side. It was in many of those firesides and devotionals that I would recieve answer to prayer or just realize something new about myself. Also, I was on my own. I didn't have my parents to be there for me whenever I was sad or having a trouble with something. This led me to turn more to my Heavenly Father for love and support, which he gave me. My faith grew by leaps and bounds every passing day as I began to REALLY realize my purpose here.

* I learned not to run on the snow or ice, even if I was late. If you do this, you WILL fall. I learned this first-hand and from watching Suzie do it.

* I learned that I am actually a clean freak. By the state of my room even now, nobody would have guessed it. Vicky helped me find this out. Vicky was my roommate this past year. She is very fun and smart and nice, but she is oh-so-messy. She left everything everywhere. After school, her books, purse, backpack, random papers, and everything else would be spread over the WHOLE couch. Annoying. And in the kitchen, you ask? She never washed her dishes. Maybe once every three weeks, but that was it. And after she cooked something she would never clean up anything. It was disgusting. I found myself scrubbing the counters every single day and sweeping and mopping almost as much. It never bugs me when i'm at home and its messy, but at my apartment it does. I don't understand it. About once a week i would get this incredible urge to clean everything. I couldn't help myself. I shared a room with Lanae, and when my stuff was everywhere, I could stand it! It didn't really matter if her side of the room was messy, but if everything of mine wasn't organized, it really bugged me. It got worse and worse as the year went on. I would even start to clean my neigbors kitchen! So this is how I became a clean freak. Now that i'm home, the clean freakiness is pretty much gone. I'm sure if my mom read this post she wouldn't beleive it.

* I learned how to survive on next to no money. Tuition, books, school supplies, food, rent, utilities, movies at the dollar theatre. I paid for it all for one year. Of course, my parents paid the rent for one month and the food for another month and I am eternally grateful for their help. But for everything else, it was all up to me. I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to make it, but I did. And I learned TONS in the process. I learned how to budget money. Every month I would go over how much money I had and how much would go to certain things. I really enjoyed doing this. I loved seeing the evidence of my hard work in the Cougareat in the form of a deposit in my back account. I also loved giving that money back to BYU for my rent. Something about being able to work for my own living made me happy. I have never appreciated a job so much in my life. Without it, I would have been even more broke than I was. I also learned that, if I was short on grocery money that month, I could live off of Hawaiian haystacks alone for over a week.

* I learned that plans don't always work out. For over two years now, i've had a plan. I was going to go to BYU for one year to get my prereqs out of the way, then transfer to UVU for their 2-year Dental Hygiene program. I would gradutate by the time I was 20, get a job as a dental hygienist, save up some money, and then go on a mission when I was 21. Boy was I wrong. No, UVU didn't like that idea and told me the soonest I could apply was 2009. Well, that gave me an extra year, which I did not want at the time. However, it has really been a blessing. It gives me another year at BYU, which I love. AND it gives me enough time to get the 60 credits I need to establish residency in Utah. That way when I go to UVU, I will be paying A LOT less.

* I have noticed that I hav become more open to meeting new people from various backgrounds and I am more open to new experiences.

I could go on and on, but I am rather tired, so I don't thing I will. Good Day.